Murphy's Law of Nursing

Here are just a few of my Murphy's Law of Nursing

1.  Never bring anything to work that you need to get done!
Over the years I always see many nurses coming to work with an extra bag of things, like crafts, bills to write out, children's projects, addressing Christmas cards etc....
I have learned on the nights that I would bring in things like that to finish up....it would be a horrible night!  Whether I worked in in ICU or labor and deliver my bag would sit there....NOTHING ever gets done, so honestly do not bother!!

2.  Dr.'s are horrible at saying, "I was wrong,  you were right", no explanation needed there!!


That is it for now....Oh I forgot, if you like the Foo Fighters like myself, they are going to be playing at the Bamboozle Festival in May in New Jersey with Bon Jovi and Blink 182:-)

Dave Grohl vs. the Philadelphia Flyers

Dave Grohl vs. the Philadelphia Flyers

I have partial season tickets to the Philadelphia Flyers this year.  I absolutely love it.  

So far this season, I have managed to take 4 out of 5 ppl to the games. I'm going to take my mother to a game on her birthday, it will be her first hockey game and even cooler is that the Flyers are playing the Boston Bruins:)

Now, as most of you know, I'm a HUGE, Foo Fighters fan.  I have been teasing the children the next time, the Foo Fighters tour the area I would take them to a concert, however I lied-because the tickets were too expensive, way too expensive!!  

My little one #4 since she could talk could sing any of the Foo's songs, she is absolutely the cutest thing and talks about Dave all the time and she is only 5.

Last night while I was at the Flyers game, my Otherhalf put her on the phone and she told me she doesn't want to go to a Flyers game, she wants to see Dave and the Foo's----how sweet!!!!  

  VS.

Mice, A Cat and a Python, Oh My!!!

So, the Otherhalf calls me from work, and I love him, but some days I really wonder about the fellows he works with!!

Now, in case you do not know the Otherhalf is a Firefighter in this great City of Brotherly Love.

He called me this evening and is a little freaked out because they have or had a pretty bad infestation problem with mice at their fire house for YEARS.

They had tried everything from exterminators, to buying a cat or two, who by the way are missing, I'm not sure why but they are and they have been missing for some time.

Now one of the firefighters had a great idea a day or two ago.  This crazy nut purchased a 3 foot python to handle the problem....they put the python into the hole that they are positive that the mice come out from in the kitchen, the only problem now is the python has been missing for over 24 hours, good news is that no one has spotted a single mouse, hence the reason none of them can now sleep.

My response is seriously you can not make this stuff up!

Not much new here.... I'm apologizing in advance

Hello All,
Nothing new to report here, well there are a few things but until I take #1 to the Dr.'s tomorrow I will not know the how bad his injury is....so for right now I'm leaving it at that!!

All I really want to report is, " Sometimes you are the windshield, and sometimes you are the bug......today I am the bug"..........

Chris Progner time to grow up!!

As many of you know already I am a HUGE hockey fan!!  And I love the Flyers and I like a few other hockey teams too, but for right now I feel my need express my concerns about what happened to Chris Progner.

Let me begin by saying, I am sure as heck that they are probably a pain in the ass, especially to an older(no disrespect) NHL hockey players, who for the life of their career have not worn them.

I am an RN who started out prior the Universal Precautions; you know before we wore gloves for everything.  I placed a million IV's without wearing gloves, changed shitty sheets, emptied foley catheters etc...you get the idea, but as time passed and healthcare made it mandatory....I had to learn to place IV's with gloves on, I did not like it but I did it and now I can not imagine for my life doing it any other way.  It is a learned process. 

I am happy that we were forced to wear gloves, masks, gowns when needed. I definitely think it is time for the NHL to step up and protect their players and as for Chris Progner, I am sure as hell certain that you want to see your children grow up, it is time to grow up put on a visor not only for yourself but for your children's sake too.

Chris, I wish you the best of luck and am looking forward to seeing you back on the ice in the next few weeks with a visor on.  Lets Go Flyers!!!!

Thank You Dilaudid!!

Hello Everyone!
Yes, I am so happy and SUPER pain free right now! Thank you to whomever invented Dilaudid:-) I am feeling much better compared to having the same surgery performed less than 8 months ago. The pain is a lot less or the pain meds this time are way better-lol....

Thank you to Jenny-The Bloggess for keeping my spirits up and keeping me in stitches(literally).

I included a picture, sorry it's a little yucky..... I desperately needed to re-wrap my Ace-Bandage that was falling off today, and I tried to take the best picture I could with one hand.....my elbow looks worse than it feels, I'm still very swollen & bruised, and I estimated the sutures to be about 8 inches in length.

I will keep everyone updated, take care!
Purple Stinky Onion (PSO)

Time to put on my Big girl panties!!

Yes, that is right, it's time for me put on my Big Girl panties!

My arm & elbow are bleeping throbbing but no one in the this unit seems to care about that or me. It's been to important to talk about me in the hallway and how my *pain* is!!!
Just let me explain,......it's the third time I've been through this in the past 15 months and today I'm pretty f-ing angry about how I'm being poo-poo'ed away........

So, remember this.... bitchy nursing staff............ I am a nurse too, I try to never put down another nurse, but I was a manager at one time and I plan on taking names and take you girls & guys down during the survey I was given upon my arrival this morning BEFORE my surgery.

Yeah the Big Girl panties are on.....but your names are being placed on my list!

Let the countdown begin!

On Monday, I am getting my elbow reconstructed AGAIN, why not right?  Because breaking it on my own, did not hurt bad enough the first time and then having reconstructed in January did not hurt enough either....so, here we go again....Let the count down begin!!!!

I am really looking forward to some serious laughter provided by The Bloggess, Jenny over the next few months, after all laughter is the best medicine, but a little dilaudid does not hurt either:-)

Take Care everyone and I will try to keep you informed...I included a picture of my last surgery without the brace on my arm, just to show you what my arm will be looking like for months.

I am going to win an Oscar !

I was assisting in a delivery a few hours ago, and I did the whole Happy Birthday singing, during some resuscitation etc....told the parents how handsome their new baby boy was but, let me tell you, he was truly a FLK(funny looking kid) at first I was a little concerned, because Mom & Dad looked pretty normal, but then the Dad's brother showed up along with the Paternal Grandparents and all my concerns disappeared:-)

Did you really just ask that???

As many of you know, I had my left elbow completely reconstructed in January. It was pretty uncomfortable, to say the least! I had 4 c/sections-two were classical c/sections(I was cut up and down inside and out) and two nice little bikini cut c/sections. All 4 combined after surgery did not top the pain that one little surgery on my arm caused. I could sum it up on a scale of 1 to 10 as 100, yes, I know I sound like one of those crazy drug seeking patients, but really it was 100.

Maybe, it was due to the fact, I had my arm dislocated again, because in all seriousness it didn't hurt enough the first time, then they reset by bones, because even though they healed nicely the first time, they healed 1.5 inches away from each other, I got new ligaments from a cadaver because it turns out I had NO ligaments holding my arm in place. My favorite part of the surgery was all sorts of holes being drilled into my bones to suture the new ligament/tendons in place.....and I hate general anesthesia so I asked to be happily confused during the surgery until after they dislocated my arm I definitely remember screaming something like M-fer.....

A quick little public service announce- Never, Never Fall on Outstretched hands!!

Which finally brings me to: What did my kids say today? I have another follow up appointment in the am with Ortho.

1. Mom is that Dr. who always tries to pull out your arm of it's socket going try it again tomorrow?

2. Does the doctor actually know the dead guy who's ligaments/tendons you have?

3. Doesn't your new arm gave like a 5 year warranty?

I.love.my.kids!!!

I Love My Patients

My patients are cracking me up tonight again!

This is the second time in the past 6 months, while my patient was in labor and trying to push a 10 pound, 11 ounce baby out of her vagina-she grabbed my arm so hard and said, she was going to kill her husband::giggle::
It definitely did not help he was SCREAMING, "And Push, One, Two, Three", etc....

Public Service Announcement #321 again, she is not deaf, and neither was any other person in the room!

If I was him, I would sleep with one eye open because after she is sown back together again and gets up to walk around in the next few hours, she will probably give New Dad some pillow therapy!!

Out of the mouths of Babes!

Out of the mouths of Babes!


Me-"How was school today?"


Kindergartener-"Good"


Me-"How was your teachers today?  She is great, isn't she?"


Kindergartener-"Yeah, she is really, nice, I like her!"


Me-"Wow, that is so nice!"


Kindergartener-"Mom, can we get her a Christmas present?"


Me-"Sure, what do you think she would want or needs?"


Kindergartener-"Something for her eyebrows, it looks like she has caterpillars on her face"


Me-"::giggle:: what do you mean?


Kindergartener-"Something to remove them"

I Can Ice Skate, Biotch! Watch Out........

Hello Everyone, sorry for not posting the last few days or so...........

This is what's new with me,  Thank Goodness-The Bloggess, Jenny is back up and running, she has returned from vacation with some really funny post, you can link to her website via the sidebar {- that way, enjoy!
I'm really happy she is back, The Otherhalf is not, he wasn't too impressed with the Banana's I have imprinted with bad sayings and left out for him to find the next morning:-)

On another note, I was Happy to see that The Flyers are having try-outs for their, "Flyers Ice Team"!  So happy I reviewed all the information-----carefully:-)  Then I decided to, look up some of the requirements:  perfect I'm off,  I can perform all of the requirements, specifically the age, I'm over 18 and better yet no age limitations.
Then, I carefully looked up what do The Flyers Ice Team girls/boys look like?

Well, let me first tell you I have partial season tickets, and I have never seen a male, so what do these girls look like?  Shit, they are young, good-looking girls, wearing small outfits!

I'm a good looking woman, under 35- read my blog- I've been 33 for a few years, but I keep myself in shape, seriously who has time to eat running around after 4 kids and get them to their multiple sporting events, like ice skating lessons, playing for multiple soccer teams all over the city!
I ice skate has much as I can and exercise to the best of my ability..............

I decided to then call, the number provided for more information:  definitely no age limits, just need to pass the obstacle course, so I decided to mess around with the person who took my call.

I proceed to tell the woman that I told my Grandmother all about the Flyers Ice Team try-outs and she wants me to bring her to New Jersey, and that she has Ice Skated her entire life and plans on trying out, I want to make sure that if I'm driving her 60 miles round trip that her age will not be counted against her.
I was completely reassured, my Grandmothers age is not a factor and if she can do all of the ice skating requirements and obstacle course she will be picked, also her interview counts, which I told the woman, my Grandmother was sweet and charming, sweet as pie-she will definitely make it, and I will make sure that her dermatologist does not do any skin cancer scrapings prior to the tryout, she does have amazing skin for being 88.  I want to make sure her pictures will look great that day.

The woman was more than happy to get me off the phone at that point and she did seem completely confused and was like WTH by the end of our conversation:)

My job was then complete, I need an old lady outfit, complete with rubber mask and hair to pull this off, just to prove the point they would never pick an old lady:)

Funniest thing I read in a few days-The Bloggess

Sorry but this has to be hands down the funniest thing I read in awhile!

http://thebloggess.com/2011/08/listen-to-the-bananas

Shit, you should NEVER see!!

Now this was scary!

A few days ago, during our lovely heat wave, I had promised an old friend I would mail her some information about vacationing in The Outer Banks.

Now, my family and I had been home for about a week.  Still unpacking, putting things away, climbing over loads of laundry to catch up on, and I'm feeling guilty. "Crap", I think to myself I have to mail that information to my friend.......

Really, not wanting to do it, but after passing by the information for a few days, I just had too.  So, I tell the kids, "Come on, get ready to go out, time to blow the stink off you guys, I have to run an errand or two".

So, there we go, the 5 of us......first stop--the Post Office-one of my favorite places to go and stand in line with 4 kids for like EVER, just to mail some shit.

We make our way out of the post office and directly across from our car/Some Super Old Dude got out of his car-wearing ONLY his underwear........All of my kids, including myself are now scarred for life!!!

Yes, LIFE......me, because I really can not believe WTF I'm seeing and now I have 4 kids who cannot stop staring at this weirdo, not to mention my youngest 3 have ALL sorts of questions about "what's he doing/is that normal/can you drive just wearing underwear?" etc.......like I have time for this.............................................

Then this Super Old Dude proceeds to put on his shorts and it took him forever to get those fuckers zipped up right and put on his wife-beater shirt in the PARKING LOT....oh yes, and his shoes too and then he walks into the Post Office.

Okay, I really should not comment any further, but in all SERIOUSNESS: if it is SO HOT that you need to be driving around "just" wearing your underwear and you do not have the common decency to put on  your clothes in your car THEN ....I think that letter or whatever you needed to mail so Desperately could probably wait a day or two, but hey that's just me:-)

Sometimes life will surprise you!

Sometimes life will surprise you!

Life as I expect, surprises many people for MANY different reasons at Very different moments in time etc., but when it comes to certain situations, I believe over the years of being a nurse...I'm just not that surprised anymore.

People in the medical field, I find after telling a story, oh don't worry.....read my disclosure at the bottom of my blog........the names are definitely protected under HIPAA......I find us medical/emergency/police officers/firefighters saying, "Seriously this happened, really you couldn't make this shit up even if you wanted too!"

There is something absolutely wrong with our society....my story is true, it has nothing to do with the medical profession, but you Really can't fix stupid/dirt and or the just plain weird, this I know for a fact, you can not, you can't, so don't waste you time trying...................

INSOMNIA-HAMSTSERS-THE BLOGGESS

Yes, it's time for one other quick post....well sort of........

I've mentioned in the past my horrible insomnia issues, and thank you to my husband who decided in the middle of the night to get up and go to the bathroom- that would be yesterday now, at 3am---I'm still awake!
So, in 2 hours I will be awake for now what is going to be 24 hours!  Imagine that!!

Now my favorite Blogger- "The Bloggess" otherwise, known as Jenny, has the same issues with insomnia as I.  Recently she was up all night googling shit...insomnia, and jet-lag after returning from a trip and found amazing information about hamsters on Viagra and how it lessened their jet lag by 50%!

Even though I read her blog about those hamsters and laughed my rear-end off...I never once thought again about those hamsters in the study or jet-lag or pretty much anything else, seeing that I am so freaking tired and ALL I want to do is sleep, but seriously cannot.....I described it as having Red Bull running through my veins, so tired I'm going too vomit but yet when I closed my eyes to read the inside of my eyelids, I can't...........

But starting around 3am last night (thank you again to my Otherhalf) until about 10:30am.  I was a googling, insomnia, which lead me to all sorts of other things like circadian rhythm, jet-lag & delayed sleep stuff and shift worker syndrome etc.....

When I arrived at jet-lag via Wikipedia, damn......... if there really was not a study that was done on fucking hamsters and Viagra!!!

Of course I always believed Jenny, but that is some serious shit, really hamsters with hard-ons being flown around the world to look at jet-lag and recovery times?

Hopefully now that I have gotten that off my chest maybe I'll sleep-maybe not and I'll actually be like the first person to stay awake forever:-)

Who know, but stayed tune, because when I'm in this state of mind who the heck knows what I'll post....

Thank You again to all my new followers, why you follow me is beyond me, but I like that someone out there is reading this occasionally, hardly ever gives me any feedback & hopefully they do not think I'm too crazy:-)

Yours Truly,
Purple Stinky Onion(PSO)

Monday Mayhem, it is after midnight right?

Monday Hot Mayhem

Welcome to Monday Mayhem/
Thanks for coming back!

Today we are just going to answer some random questions.

1. Were you a fan of Amy Winehouse? Were you surprised about her?

Yes, totally liked her unique singing, completely not surprised about the OD.  Now, she'll probably get factored into the 27 club, it is a "curse" for the rich and famous.

2. What have you always wanted to do try doing during a heat wave? Have you done it? What's holding you back?

I always wanted it to be about 20 degrees or more cooler, I was not able to make it happen!


3. "Judd" from Sunday Stealing is having a party. Are you going? What are you planning to bring with you?

Absolutely I'm going and I'm bring a bottle of Southern Comfort with me.


4. Do you think other countries deserve a set of twins (kind of like the "French Twins")? Which country would you designate a twin country?


5. Would you ever trade your lifestyle for the lifestyle of someone rich and famous? Why or why not?

No, I like my life, I wish I had enough money for a maid, but money does not give one complete happiness, yes money can buy some happiness but at least when your poor you know who your true friends are.

6. What's the stupidest thing you heard last week?

You can't fix stupid....after some guy hooked his own finger fishing, it was pretty funny, yes I'm a sick person:)

Thanks for playing and stay cool amigos!

#2-isms!

I think occasionally I post about my #2, she looks at the world around her in a different way.


 The Otherhalf and I just keep saying to ourselves: One day she will open the eyes of others to view the world as she sees it!!




It's not a #2-ism it's her friend- Go figure.

Looking off the end of the Pier.

Girlfriend-" there are sure a lot of jellyfish down there". 

#2, "yup there are, what are those things hanging from them again?" 

Girlfriend, "Oh, those things are called testicles." 

#2, "that's right, testicles!"

Nice Adirondack Chair, No it's about a SHARK

So how was your vacation?
We arrived home two days ago, but below is a little tidbit that happened to us on our vacation: 


Okay, are you wearing your pull-ups because this is CRAZY! We are on vacation getting vocal with the locals etc... Having a blast and today, the ocean water is Absolutely FREEZING, like 56 degrees, it went from bath water to--the water is so cold you feel like there are ice cubes in the water. Hardly any brave souls at the beach attempting to get in the water it is mind numbing. The winds are coming from SSE or maybe it was SSW, but according to the locals it makes a big difference in the ocean temp.

Did you see the picture of the adirondack chair I posted?? Well look above because you may need to refer to it again.
Today it was hot here, okay very hot on the beach I would say.
The Otherhalf and #1 decided to get in the water, they couldn't take it anymore. "Polar Plunge", they yelled as they ran into the freezing ocean.


I'm sitting on the beach having a great time with one of the locals, who has lived here about 40 some years, watching all the other kids playing in the sand. Then, after a bit I see The Otherhalf and #1 running out of the water and I mean RUN--I'm thinking some sorta race between the both of them?

As Mr. Local starts to tell something,The Otherhalf & #1 who are wrapped in towels, speechless just staring at the ocean, they were not even blinking(I found that sorta odd,) I'm thinking they are just numb from being in the water because they can not even talked yet.


It turns out Mr. Local tells us there is a "pretty big shark, ya' all know, he has been coming in closer and closer to the beach, ya' all better be careful, I hear he is very long, well geez maybe 16 feet?, n'a maybe it was 18 feet give or take a foot, well heck my memory is not what it was before."


The Otherhalf and #1 are shivering, okay maybe it was shaking, either way, they are not talking, but I saw them blink a few times. They are looking at the ocean & then each other and then looking at Mr. Local.


Mr. Local says "Oh, by the way, nice to meet ya all, be safe now, I got's to get going the Mrs. is making some fine dinner & she does not appreciate when I'm late". I say goodbye great to meet you, hopefully we will see you tomorrow & maybe the Mrs. I help him pack up, his belongings and The Otherhalf and #1 are still not saying anything at all!


Me-- I'm thinking WTH to The Otherhalf & #1, what is wrong with you two, geez no manners! "well that was pretty scary, about the shark stuff? Well, Mr. Local was a cute thing. How was the water you two?? You two look cold?" 


Then The Otherhalf tells me what just happened.


He says a few feet in front of them a LARGE fin, about the size of the back of an adirondack chair slowly came out of the water for what felt like forever--it was not a dolphin or porpoise, it never came up for air. It swam around in front of them, they just stood frozen trying to see what it could be, then after what felt like an eternity they could not see any of the large fin around them it completely disappeared, the two of them then ran as fast as they could to get out of the water.


Okay, I'm terrified of sharks and I mean terrified, yesterday a 6 year old was attacked in 18 inches of water! It's the third attack this year in this area. I don't care if the winds change directions and the ocean temperature is like bath water, sharks scare me & obviously The Otherhalf and #1 are now scared too.