Wednesday, August 17, 2011

I Can Ice Skate, Biotch! Watch Out........

Hello Everyone, sorry for not posting the last few days or so...........

This is what's new with me,  Thank Goodness-The Bloggess, Jenny is back up and running, she has returned from vacation with some really funny post, you can link to her website via the sidebar {- that way, enjoy!
I'm really happy she is back, The Otherhalf is not, he wasn't too impressed with the Banana's I have imprinted with bad sayings and left out for him to find the next morning:-)

On another note, I was Happy to see that The Flyers are having try-outs for their, "Flyers Ice Team"!  So happy I reviewed all the information-----carefully:-)  Then I decided to, look up some of the requirements:  perfect I'm off,  I can perform all of the requirements, specifically the age, I'm over 18 and better yet no age limitations.
Then, I carefully looked up what do The Flyers Ice Team girls/boys look like?

Well, let me first tell you I have partial season tickets, and I have never seen a male, so what do these girls look like?  Shit, they are young, good-looking girls, wearing small outfits!

I'm a good looking woman, under 35- read my blog- I've been 33 for a few years, but I keep myself in shape, seriously who has time to eat running around after 4 kids and get them to their multiple sporting events, like ice skating lessons, playing for multiple soccer teams all over the city!
I ice skate has much as I can and exercise to the best of my ability..............

I decided to then call, the number provided for more information:  definitely no age limits, just need to pass the obstacle course, so I decided to mess around with the person who took my call.

I proceed to tell the woman that I told my Grandmother all about the Flyers Ice Team try-outs and she wants me to bring her to New Jersey, and that she has Ice Skated her entire life and plans on trying out, I want to make sure that if I'm driving her 60 miles round trip that her age will not be counted against her.
I was completely reassured, my Grandmothers age is not a factor and if she can do all of the ice skating requirements and obstacle course she will be picked, also her interview counts, which I told the woman, my Grandmother was sweet and charming, sweet as pie-she will definitely make it, and I will make sure that her dermatologist does not do any skin cancer scrapings prior to the tryout, she does have amazing skin for being 88.  I want to make sure her pictures will look great that day.

The woman was more than happy to get me off the phone at that point and she did seem completely confused and was like WTH by the end of our conversation:)

My job was then complete, I need an old lady outfit, complete with rubber mask and hair to pull this off, just to prove the point they would never pick an old lady:)

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Funniest thing I read in a few days-The Bloggess

Sorry but this has to be hands down the funniest thing I read in awhile!

Shit, you should NEVER see!!

Now this was scary!

A few days ago, during our lovely heat wave, I had promised an old friend I would mail her some information about vacationing in The Outer Banks.

Now, my family and I had been home for about a week.  Still unpacking, putting things away, climbing over loads of laundry to catch up on, and I'm feeling guilty. "Crap", I think to myself I have to mail that information to my friend.......

Really, not wanting to do it, but after passing by the information for a few days, I just had too.  So, I tell the kids, "Come on, get ready to go out, time to blow the stink off you guys, I have to run an errand or two".

So, there we go, the 5 of us......first stop--the Post Office-one of my favorite places to go and stand in line with 4 kids for like EVER, just to mail some shit.

We make our way out of the post office and directly across from our car/Some Super Old Dude got out of his car-wearing ONLY his underwear........All of my kids, including myself are now scarred for life!!!

Yes,, because I really can not believe WTF I'm seeing and now I have 4 kids who cannot stop staring at this weirdo, not to mention my youngest 3 have ALL sorts of questions about "what's he doing/is that normal/can you drive just wearing underwear?" I have time for this.............................................

Then this Super Old Dude proceeds to put on his shorts and it took him forever to get those fuckers zipped up right and put on his wife-beater shirt in the PARKING LOT....oh yes, and his shoes too and then he walks into the Post Office.

Okay, I really should not comment any further, but in all SERIOUSNESS: if it is SO HOT that you need to be driving around "just" wearing your underwear and you do not have the common decency to put on  your clothes in your car THEN ....I think that letter or whatever you needed to mail so Desperately could probably wait a day or two, but hey that's just me:-)

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Sometimes life will surprise you!

Sometimes life will surprise you!

Life as I expect, surprises many people for MANY different reasons at Very different moments in time etc., but when it comes to certain situations, I believe over the years of being a nurse...I'm just not that surprised anymore.

People in the medical field, I find after telling a story, oh don't my disclosure at the bottom of my blog........the names are definitely protected under HIPAA......I find us medical/emergency/police officers/firefighters saying, "Seriously this happened, really you couldn't make this shit up even if you wanted too!"

There is something absolutely wrong with our story is true, it has nothing to do with the medical profession, but you Really can't fix stupid/dirt and or the just plain weird, this I know for a fact, you can not, you can't, so don't waste you time trying...................