This post is from: Dr. Grumpy, with whom I love dearly!! Enjoy!!
I've got a junkie over in the ICU, who overdosed on a bunch of stuff yesterday. She was on a ventilator (a breathing machine) this morning, but they were going to see if she improved enough today to get her off it.
So I called over there a minute ago to talk to her nurse:
Dr. Grumpy: "How'd she do this morning?"
Nurse Icu: "She's more awake, and we got her off the ventilator, but may have to put her back on again."
Dr. Grumpy: "Why? Is she still having trouble breathing?"
Nurse Icu: "No, she's just a bitch."
Showing posts with label nurse humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nurse humor. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Monday, January 2, 2012
Happy New Year!! The New York Rangers Can Suck It!!!!!
Happy New Year!
Tonight, I am working with Dr. A--hole, you know, the kind of person I'm talking about. I'd rather be standing on the corner of 34th and Spruce Streets---- giving out free blow-jobs than to be working with this prick.
He's the same goof ball, who's license plate says' "GoldFinger!" I think that is enough said!
Happy New Years anyway.....I have to finish this lovely shift without getting fired for saying something like,"Don't be such a _____Fill in the Blank Yourself", so I can get a few hours sleep before the Winter Classic tomorrow!!
Thank you to the NHL for backing-up the game by 2 hours, so I can read the inside of my eyeballs a few extra minutes, and to all The Rangers Fans, SUCK IT! Let's GO FLYERS!!!!!
Tonight, I am working with Dr. A--hole, you know, the kind of person I'm talking about. I'd rather be standing on the corner of 34th and Spruce Streets---- giving out free blow-jobs than to be working with this prick.
He's the same goof ball, who's license plate says' "GoldFinger!" I think that is enough said!
Happy New Years anyway.....I have to finish this lovely shift without getting fired for saying something like,"Don't be such a _____Fill in the Blank Yourself", so I can get a few hours sleep before the Winter Classic tomorrow!!
Monday, September 26, 2011
Time to put on my Big girl panties!!
Yes, that is right, it's time for me put on my Big Girl panties!
My arm & elbow are bleeping throbbing but no one in the this unit seems to care about that or me. It's been to important to talk about me in the hallway and how my *pain* is!!!
Just let me explain,......it's the third time I've been through this in the past 15 months and today I'm pretty f-ing angry about how I'm being poo-poo'ed away........
So, remember this.... bitchy nursing staff............ I am a nurse too, I try to never put down another nurse, but I was a manager at one time and I plan on taking names and take you girls & guys down during the survey I was given upon my arrival this morning BEFORE my surgery.
Yeah the Big Girl panties are on.....but your names are being placed on my list!
My arm & elbow are bleeping throbbing but no one in the this unit seems to care about that or me. It's been to important to talk about me in the hallway and how my *pain* is!!!
Just let me explain,......it's the third time I've been through this in the past 15 months and today I'm pretty f-ing angry about how I'm being poo-poo'ed away........
So, remember this.... bitchy nursing staff............ I am a nurse too, I try to never put down another nurse, but I was a manager at one time and I plan on taking names and take you girls & guys down during the survey I was given upon my arrival this morning BEFORE my surgery.
Yeah the Big Girl panties are on.....but your names are being placed on my list!
Thursday, September 8, 2011
I Love My Patients
My patients are cracking me up tonight again!
This is the second time in the past 6 months, while my patient was in labor and trying to push a 10 pound, 11 ounce baby out of her vagina-she grabbed my arm so hard and said, she was going to kill her husband::giggle::
It definitely did not help he was SCREAMING, "And Push, One, Two, Three", etc....
Public Service Announcement #321 again, she is not deaf, and neither was any other person in the room!
If I was him, I would sleep with one eye open because after she is sown back together again and gets up to walk around in the next few hours, she will probably give New Dad some pillow therapy!!
This is the second time in the past 6 months, while my patient was in labor and trying to push a 10 pound, 11 ounce baby out of her vagina-she grabbed my arm so hard and said, she was going to kill her husband::giggle::
It definitely did not help he was SCREAMING, "And Push, One, Two, Three", etc....
Public Service Announcement #321 again, she is not deaf, and neither was any other person in the room!
If I was him, I would sleep with one eye open because after she is sown back together again and gets up to walk around in the next few hours, she will probably give New Dad some pillow therapy!!
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Sometimes life will surprise you!
Sometimes life will surprise you!
Life as I expect, surprises many people for MANY different reasons at Very different moments in time etc., but when it comes to certain situations, I believe over the years of being a nurse...I'm just not that surprised anymore.
People in the medical field, I find after telling a story, oh don't worry.....read my disclosure at the bottom of my blog........the names are definitely protected under HIPAA......I find us medical/emergency/police officers/firefighters saying, "Seriously this happened, really you couldn't make this shit up even if you wanted too!"
There is something absolutely wrong with our society....my story is true, it has nothing to do with the medical profession, but you Really can't fix stupid/dirt and or the just plain weird, this I know for a fact, you can not, you can't, so don't waste you time trying...................
Life as I expect, surprises many people for MANY different reasons at Very different moments in time etc., but when it comes to certain situations, I believe over the years of being a nurse...I'm just not that surprised anymore.
People in the medical field, I find after telling a story, oh don't worry.....read my disclosure at the bottom of my blog........the names are definitely protected under HIPAA......I find us medical/emergency/police officers/firefighters saying, "Seriously this happened, really you couldn't make this shit up even if you wanted too!"
There is something absolutely wrong with our society....my story is true, it has nothing to do with the medical profession, but you Really can't fix stupid/dirt and or the just plain weird, this I know for a fact, you can not, you can't, so don't waste you time trying...................
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Welcome
Welcome to my new followers! Do not expect much from me for this social media shit is hard to keep up with!! I do not post much anymore but maybe that will change, who knows....
Well, if you haven't read to much into my blog, I'm a nurse/actress....functioning as a nurse, but acting like a give a damn most days....sorry to say that but it is the truth.....
I always wanted to be a vet, but they have fucked up jobs like nurses too, however my take is animals are way more cooler than humans on most given days.
I would personally like to thank my patient for bring in her Toy Dog while she was in labor nothing like having to babysit her sorry ass in labor and watch her puppy until a family member could pick the little thing up and also thank you for making me have to clean up your dogs shit----it's not like my day didn't suck already!
Well, if you haven't read to much into my blog, I'm a nurse/actress....functioning as a nurse, but acting like a give a damn most days....sorry to say that but it is the truth.....
I always wanted to be a vet, but they have fucked up jobs like nurses too, however my take is animals are way more cooler than humans on most given days.
I would personally like to thank my patient for bring in her Toy Dog while she was in labor nothing like having to babysit her sorry ass in labor and watch her puppy until a family member could pick the little thing up and also thank you for making me have to clean up your dogs shit----it's not like my day didn't suck already!
Friday, January 30, 2009
don't have to much to say!
Sorry I have not been able to write much, complete writers block to say the least.
I'm not writing much about nursing anymore because work is way to depressing, when you work for one of the only hospitals that does fetal surgery/treatment, it completly sucks!
I need to transfer to another department before I lose my mind and go Ape Shit at work one day soon.
Plus, I finally found the Twilight series..........hopefully I will finish book four by the end of this long weekend ahead of me, I am scheduled for the entire weekend for night shift.
More to come....at least I hope!
I'm not writing much about nursing anymore because work is way to depressing, when you work for one of the only hospitals that does fetal surgery/treatment, it completly sucks!
I need to transfer to another department before I lose my mind and go Ape Shit at work one day soon.
Plus, I finally found the Twilight series..........hopefully I will finish book four by the end of this long weekend ahead of me, I am scheduled for the entire weekend for night shift.
More to come....at least I hope!
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Sink issues
My other half can not fix anything, WATER RELATED!
I could blog an entire novel on all the things during our 12+ years of marriage, the other half as tried to fix, but that would be mean.(LOL)
What started as an occasional drip from the kitchen sink is now running at 150cc/hour- and NO, I am NOT kidding!
I could blog an entire novel on all the things during our 12+ years of marriage, the other half as tried to fix, but that would be mean.(LOL)
What started as an occasional drip from the kitchen sink is now running at 150cc/hour- and NO, I am NOT kidding!
Monday, August 18, 2008
Pain
I had the cutest couple last night in the delivery room.
So, Dr. Mc Ravishing and I reviewed all of the lovely ways that we can help and support Mom to be through her labor- of course we reviewed the good meds vs. the back-rubs, birthing balls etc...After about 20 minutes, she states, "I never had much pain in my life, but I'm going to do it with out any help".
God, help me- Let the Screaming begin! We have a bet- I give her to 4cm before she brakes down. Can't wait to go back to work now in a few days and hopefully collect the winnings!
I'm in love with two new friends. The Dansko's are off and the SVEN's are on!
Purple even, ---just beautiful, I woke up and there they were in a UPS box, my name so delicately placed on top, my heart skipped a beat or two. I placed them on my feet and the heavens opened up and my feet are happy and joyous again. I feel like I can run all night -- back and forth-- to and from,-- reading strips, giving meds, taking orders and pleasing the patients the best that I can. My faith in mankind has been restored.
Okay, so I got a little carried away, the shoes are really cute! And they fit great.
Have a Lovely Night--- One and All
So, Dr. Mc Ravishing and I reviewed all of the lovely ways that we can help and support Mom to be through her labor- of course we reviewed the good meds vs. the back-rubs, birthing balls etc...After about 20 minutes, she states, "I never had much pain in my life, but I'm going to do it with out any help".
God, help me- Let the Screaming begin! We have a bet- I give her to 4cm before she brakes down. Can't wait to go back to work now in a few days and hopefully collect the winnings!
I'm in love with two new friends. The Dansko's are off and the SVEN's are on!
Purple even, ---just beautiful, I woke up and there they were in a UPS box, my name so delicately placed on top, my heart skipped a beat or two. I placed them on my feet and the heavens opened up and my feet are happy and joyous again. I feel like I can run all night -- back and forth-- to and from,-- reading strips, giving meds, taking orders and pleasing the patients the best that I can. My faith in mankind has been restored.
Okay, so I got a little carried away, the shoes are really cute! And they fit great.
Have a Lovely Night--- One and All
Sunday, August 10, 2008
My Vagina is on Fire!
Just on a side note before I go to bed. Why I am thinking of this now, I have no idea, but thought it would be worth sharing.....................
A few months ago, I got a phone call from an adolescent patient who swears she saw smoke coming out of her vagina, I am absolutely not kidding. The secretary took the message and asked that I call her back immediately.
After a minute or two of reading the post-it note and then asking the secretary was she sure that this was actually said.......................
Seriously, like who could make up this shit, Really!
I called this young lady back and found out all other sorts of information I did not even want to know, but then her boyfriend got on the phone too, and he thinks he may have seen something like smoke--maybe steam, definitely coming from her vagina?! Because he was down there looking around checking it out for himself:)
When you called me, did I say 911, what's your emergency? Because honestly, if your vagina is smoking and or on fire ---you need to call 911- for the Fire Department not a Nurse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Alrightly then, off to bed...Goodnight and Godspeed!
A few months ago, I got a phone call from an adolescent patient who swears she saw smoke coming out of her vagina, I am absolutely not kidding. The secretary took the message and asked that I call her back immediately.
After a minute or two of reading the post-it note and then asking the secretary was she sure that this was actually said.......................
Seriously, like who could make up this shit, Really!
I called this young lady back and found out all other sorts of information I did not even want to know, but then her boyfriend got on the phone too, and he thinks he may have seen something like smoke--maybe steam, definitely coming from her vagina?! Because he was down there looking around checking it out for himself:)
When you called me, did I say 911, what's your emergency? Because honestly, if your vagina is smoking and or on fire ---you need to call 911- for the Fire Department not a Nurse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Alrightly then, off to bed...Goodnight and Godspeed!
The drive home
Happy Sunday!
The last few days I worked have been very busy, last night finally a break, thank goodness!
I mostly have been schedule for: one day on than one day off, one day on-two days off for the last two weeks, what a pain in the butt, but what can you do? I would much rather work a few in a row and have a bunch off, but at this point I can not even think clearly- so please excuse the type-o's.
I did not have much sleep or rest period before I went into work last night- granted the no sense of humor now- and the poor attitude I have........So, now that I have been up for the past 30 hours..I'm going to crawl into my bedroom and hopefully hibernate for the next 4-5 hours, only if the kids can keep the ramblings to a quiet screaming session or two. Please let the electric go out! So there is no guitar:))
Oh yes before I forget---the ride home......I drive back and forth to work on an interstate 3-4 lane highway for about 30-40 minutes, and this morning was almost side-swiped by some a-hole driving with a small dog on her lap, God freakin' help me!!!!!!!!!!! This is the same jerk-off that will be scrapped off the highway that I or another one of my co-workers will have to take care of someday because they don't know how to drive properly. Sorry for the rant, but what the heck is the world coming too.
The last few days I worked have been very busy, last night finally a break, thank goodness!
I mostly have been schedule for: one day on than one day off, one day on-two days off for the last two weeks, what a pain in the butt, but what can you do? I would much rather work a few in a row and have a bunch off, but at this point I can not even think clearly- so please excuse the type-o's.
I did not have much sleep or rest period before I went into work last night- granted the no sense of humor now- and the poor attitude I have........So, now that I have been up for the past 30 hours..I'm going to crawl into my bedroom and hopefully hibernate for the next 4-5 hours, only if the kids can keep the ramblings to a quiet screaming session or two. Please let the electric go out! So there is no guitar:))
Oh yes before I forget---the ride home......I drive back and forth to work on an interstate 3-4 lane highway for about 30-40 minutes, and this morning was almost side-swiped by some a-hole driving with a small dog on her lap, God freakin' help me!!!!!!!!!!! This is the same jerk-off that will be scrapped off the highway that I or another one of my co-workers will have to take care of someday because they don't know how to drive properly. Sorry for the rant, but what the heck is the world coming too.
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