Tuesday, January 31, 2012

My most famous post-Smoke coming from your vagina

Well, hello everyone.......my most famous post was called, "My vagina is on Fire".  And for years it has bothered me , the keywords that are used to find my blog: so here they are in no particular order:

Smoke coming out of my vagina
Smoke coming from my vagina
Why is my vagina on fire
"smoke" coming from my vagina

and thankfully some normal keywords:

broke elbow

Let me tell you, first hand...any smoke coming from the vagina is NOT normal and you should contact your Dr. not a Nurse, or better yet the Fire Department!!

Second a broken elbow, should always require Dilaudid-that is normal

Too funny!!

This post is from: Dr. Grumpy, with whom I love dearly!!  Enjoy!!

I've got a junkie over in the ICU, who overdosed on a bunch of stuff yesterday. She was on a ventilator (a breathing machine) this morning, but they were going to see if she improved enough today to get her off it.

So I called over there a minute ago to talk to her nurse:

Dr. Grumpy: "How'd she do this morning?"

Nurse Icu: "She's more awake, and we got her off the ventilator, but may have to put her back on again."

Dr. Grumpy: "Why? Is she still having trouble breathing?"

Nurse Icu: "No, she's just a bitch."

Friday, January 27, 2012

Swimming Any One?

Yeah, yeah, I know sorry for the lack of posts lately.....I want to say welcome to my new followers, please be sure to comment every now and then!

So how was your day at work?

Thanks for asking, it sucked BALLS.....

Crazy-assed patient comes in with an inflatable pool to give birth in......and she thought I was going to help blow it up too!!

Crazy, crazy, crazy....never a boring day at work!

Monday, January 2, 2012

A day I Really miss my Dad and I can't believe what he told my daughter

Today being the New Year and I felt a little down today...... I miss my Dad so much!  I thought someone once said, "time heals all wounds", well it doesn't and that person is an a--hole just for saying that!  But anyway today I miss my Dad a lot, he was a very funny guy

Now, as many of you know, my daughter has been labeled as, "somewhere on the autism spectrum,"  I'd like to shoot that person too, because where exactly on the spectrum she is, I'd like to freaking know!!!!....

My daughter takes things too literally...but enough about that, onto the funny crap--- my dad told her once.

Many years ago, my Dad unfortunately had a toe amputated, about the 3rd one in, don't ask why because I have know idea, I'm getting old and in all honestly it really doesn't matter...

But anywho, we went to the hospital to visit him, And in complete utter seriousness, he looked at her dead in the eyes, not even cracking a smile and told her the "Tooth Fairy did!"

Today, at the dinner table, she kindly told us "you know, once Grandpop had a loose tooth and a loose toe, and the Tooth Fairy took his toe instead! I personally had to leave the room because I was laughing so hard.

Now tonight she is asleep with 2 pairs of socks on, thick winter boots, scared out of his mind, worrying that if her tooth does fall out or not--- The Tooth Fairy is coming for her toes instead

It is days like this I miss him dearly.......

I miss you Dad.......

Happy New Year!! The New York Rangers Can Suck It!!!!!

Happy New Year!

Tonight, I am working with Dr. A--hole, you know, the kind of person I'm talking about.  I'd rather be standing on the corner of 34th and Spruce Streets---- giving out free blow-jobs than to be working with this prick.

He's the same goof ball, who's license plate says' "GoldFinger!"  I think that is enough said!

Happy New Years anyway.....I have to finish this lovely shift without getting fired for saying something like,"Don't be such a _____Fill in the Blank Yourself", so I can get a few hours sleep before the Winter Classic tomorrow!!

Thank you to the NHL for backing-up the game by 2 hours, so I can read the inside of my eyeballs a few extra minutes, and to all The Rangers Fans, SUCK IT!  Let's GO FLYERS!!!!!