Tuesday, July 21, 2009

The Queen's Meme

The Queen's Meme #2-Mission Impossible
1. You are a guest on the space shuttle. You just arrived on the moon and realize you forgot something back home that you can't live without. What is it and how do you convince them to go back and fetch it? I can't live without my iPhone-I definitely need my music!

2. Pretend you are a teacher in a rough public school for one day. You have been assigned to teach Manners 101. You have the "challenging bad butt kids" class (remember this is a pretend school and anyway I can't say ass on my blog 'cause it's so unQueenly and I might get fined or something).They are jumping up and down, cursing, and throwing things at you. Please sit down, followed by the next time I tell you to sit down and be quite and you do not follow my request we'll start with one tsp of chlorahydrate...that will definitely work.

3. Someone in your family or a friend has started a blog. They think it is anonymous but you have figured it out. They are saying derogatory things about you. Do you tell them or do you read it for awhile?How would you handle it?
I would read the blog for awhile and then I would take that person out to lunch, a drop hints about things they have written on the blog to a point that they will know I am onto them.
4. If you had one dollar left in your pocket, what would you spend it on? Diet Lemon Snapple

5. President Obama and the First Lady are coming over for dinner. What do you serve? A nice home cooked meal---probably Hamburger Mush-it's like Shepard's Pie-it's my Grandmothers recipe...Every time I have made it-I've gotten compliments.

6. You walk in on your lover. They are trying on your clothes. What do you do? Probably die laughing! The OtherHalf is 6'1 and I'm 5"4-ish. I hope he does stretch out my favorite clothes.

7. Every astronaut must have shots! Choose your vaccination: You only get one and you can't enjoy any of the attributes of the other choices. You choose either: (1) The fountain of eternal youth and sexual vigor but only for 10 years (2) perfect health for a lifetime (3) eternal mind-numbing nirvana and peace of mind (4) unlimited hedonism for one year with no negative consequences.

#4, why not you only live once!!

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The Heretic Meme

1. Who was the last person of the opposite sex you lay in a bed with? The OtherHalf- God I love a man in uniform

2. Where was the last place you went out to eat? Burger King

3. What was the last alcoholic beverage you consumed? Champagne in LA, so it's been a few weeks

4. Which do you prefer - eyes or lips? Eyes

5. Medicine, fine arts, or law? I'm an RN, so I'll say medicine.

6. Best kind of pizza? I don't like Pizza, but if I have to eat it---I like it cold

7. What is in store for your future? I have no idea, let me consult my crystal ball.

8. Who was the last band you saw live? Foo Fighters

9. Do you take care of your friends while they are sick? What??? I can't even take care of myself when I'm sick.

10. How many songs are on your iPod? 803

11. Where is the last place you drove to? Work

12. Where did your last kiss take place? In my kitchen, my 4 just kissed me when I came home from work:)

13. What were you doing at 11:59 PM on Monday night? I was working, so probably I was delivering some crazy-ass screaming woman who decided she wanted to go, "natural"

14. Are you a quitter? No

15. Who was the last person you had in your house? My Babysitter

15. What do you think about people who party a lot? Good for them, I wish I could.

16. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Yeah right, I work in Labor and Delivery...I talk about sex and procreation all the time.

17. What was the last CD you purchased? Can't remember

18. What are two bands or singers that you will always love? Led Zeppelin and Foo Fighters

19. Which of the seven deadly sins are you guilty of? Sloth-this exact deadly sin referred to was believed to be the failure to utilize one's talents and gifts

20. How is your last ex doing? Don't have one.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

The problem with healthcare medicine

One of the many problems with medicine is all the freaking, unnecessary tests.

I was a patient recently of some, "Big Named hospital" and I recently received an itemized bill for all the test performed, like the pregnancy test, that I insisted I did NOT need. Why, you ask?
First with the last pregnancy not only did I have a completed previa, it turned out my placenta loved all of my previous c-section scars, especially since I had already had 3 c-sections- therefore I had an accreata, which I was monitored very closely with during the ENTIRE pregnancy, only to find out after my delivery a few days later, it was a percerta(worse case scenario), noted I said a few days after I delivered I was told this, because that's how long it took them to finally decide to wean my from the vent, replace more blood and bring my back from the otherside in the ICU etc.......

I had a great Oncologist, who helped with the c-section(better at identifying large and small vessels), anyway they removed my uterus, tubes and cervix no less, and it was preformed at the same f-ing hospital were I was sick, they have EPIC(medical/online medical records) and I told them this and said really you have EPIC access, yes, then look it up?.....seriously now they are charging my insurance for some stupid test that couldn't even be true, and trust me I'M NOT THE VIRGIN MARY!

UUgghhhh! Family

Well, I guess I really pissed them off, the in-laws, I wrote, " I was going to write something nice about my, "family members", but I decided not too, on facebook.
Now their not talking to me...aaaaa go f-yourselves. Really, did you think I may have been talking about something else or someone else entirely? Get a Grip! My Life and The Other Half's do not completely and entirely revolve around you folks.

I really wish I could have enough money to get up and move the my family to the otherside of the country.

I have to go to work again on Thursday and over the weekend. We have a lot of gastroschisis babies due in the next month or so, "They'll fuck ya, everytime". They have a shittest fetal strips and 15% die in utero by 35 weeks, we end up delivering those babies for one small possible decel, and sleep cycle that looks at little flat...good times ahead, good times.

I saw a super cool TRAP sequence at work. We did an RFA on the "blob" and then cut the cord so there was no cord entanglement later, pretty interesting to say the least.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Long Live the Queen!!!!

The Queen's Meme ~ Blog Outside The Box

Welcome to our first edition of The Queen's Meme.

1. You are in court. You are in deep doo-doo. What did you do? ('Cause if you want, I might could talk to the judge and get your sentence reduced to Bloggingham dungeon time.)

I was caught flirting with the King, God, he's cute.

2. Your blog just became a best-selling book . What is the title of your book ?
Absent minded mother of 4, RN, wife to Other Half a Firefighter, short-tempered woman, fearless healer, night-shift slave to many, baby-catcher, and Preparation H wearer since 2004.

3. It is midnight. The phone rings. It is Michael Jackson calling from the Great Beyond. What would you like to ask him? Really, Michael Jackson who's that????

4. You are having your future told. The fortune teller looks in the crystal ball, screams and leaves the room in fright. What did they see? Me naked:)

5. You're blogging along minding your own blusiness (that's blog + oh...you know) when Google unexpectedly puts a Objectionable Content Warning on your blog. Your own mother is afraid to enter! What, pray tell, did you do to warrant it? How did this happen? Do you think you deserve it? Just how objectionable are you? Do tell.

Since I work in Labor and Delivery, I talk about vagina's, vaginal deliveries, foley caths in not so cool areas, the craziest tattoos I have ever seen in the strangest places, firecracker deliveries, where one actually rips and tears all around their vaginal area and down into their a*&hole. It was really uncalled for, it's my job and it's true so F-ing deal with it, I do.

6. You suddenly become God Of The Universe. What would your first Commandment be? IQ test prior to procreation, of course:)

7. And finally, what secret would you like to tell the Queen?
Not to worry. What happens in Bloggingham, stays in Bloggingham.

I really didn't flirt with
the King--Long Live the Queen!!

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Sunday Stealing

Sunday Stealing: The Double Stealing Meme

1. If you could turn back the hands of time to correct one wrongdoing, what event would you choose and why? My oldest friend and I were not close by any means right out of high school. She became pregnant and I did not even know until after she had her daughter. I can not believe how scared and unsupported she was by her own family. I wish kept in touch with her during that time. Good news is we have been very close since I got married.

2. Are you one for tradition? If so, what traditions do you strongly believe in? If not, what makes tradition hypocritical? I try to keep the family traditions of spending time with my family on holidays, however being a nurse and having to work every other holiday pretty much put a damper on that.

3. You were taking part in an event and you had to crossplay, who would you crossplay as and why?

4. If you only had one day left to live, how would you spend your last day? Would you be tempted to live fatally if you knew you were to die the next day, and if so, what extreme measures would you take? I would spend my last day with my husband and kids doing absolutely nothing but lying around snuggling in bed--yes, I'm completely boring:)

5. What are your top five sinful materialistic items, ones you'd expect from others including those closest to you? I don't really think I have any, but I do LOVE my iphone

6. I am...completed exhausted, recovering from night-shift again is like functioning in a haze

7. I feel...tired

8. I see...sick people- (Nurse's Humor)

9. I need...a mental day off from work soon!

10. I love...The sound of a thunder storm

11. I wish...the weather will be nice tomorrow, and we can sit at the pool club all day.

12. I think...I'm going to go to bed soon.

13. I hear...the sound of rain hitting my window.

14. I crave...a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup

15. I fear...one day I'm going to explode at work.

16. I hope... "Hope Lives Here"

Thursday, July 9, 2009


I love Tupperware just like most other women I know...BUT stop bring shit in Tupperware containers to the Triage Room in the Labor and Delivery Unit, it is just f-ing gross!

Public Service Announcement # 41.

Monday, July 6, 2009

No Way!

An old patient of mine, decided to call the Labor and Delivery department to let me know she is expecting once again this August!

It was very thoughtful of her, you see... she is a G14, P12 and I delivered her last 7, yes, thats right..I was the nurse on when she delivered her last 7 children. Hard to believe but true, she specifically asked if she could call me when she goes into labor with number 13. Kind -of - an -honor, kind-of Crazy!

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Sunday Stealing, Baby!!!!!!!!!

1. I’ve come to realize that my chest-size. . .Is obviously bigger than I ever thought...I caught my PCP either trying to reading my Johnson Motor T-Shirt or checking out my Boobs this past Thursday, then once I took my prescription to get filled the pharmacist was doing the same thing!

2. I’ve come to realize that my job. . .Is not anything like I ever imagined it would be like.

3. I’ve come to realize that when I’m driving. . . I always feel like I'm in a rush, must be an East Coast thing

4. I’ve come to realize that I need. . .A mental day off from work...SOON!

5. I’ve come that realize that I have lost. . .My Mind most days--Have you seen it???

6. I’ve come to realize that I hate it when. . .I have to much to do and not enough time to do it.

7. I’ve come to realize that if I’m drunk. . .It is a rare occasion

8. I’ve come to realize that money..."Money Changes Everything" by Cyndi Lauper, just ask Jon and Kate plus 8!!!

9. I’ve come to realize that certain people. . . never change, thus you can't polish a turd.

10. I’ve come to realize that I’ll always. . .Always worry about my children

11. I’ve come to realize that my sibling(s). . .Is very funny in his own way...and he is deathly afraid of bears ::snort::

12. I’ve come to realize that my mom…Can always say something to make things look better and brighter.

13. I’ve come to realize that my cell phone. . .is great I have an iPhone

14. I’ve come to realize that when I woke up this morning. . .what, wake up in the am---I work nights for God Sakes!

15. I’ve come to realize that last night before I went to sleep. . .????????

16. I’ve come to realize that right now I am thinking. . .Geez, how many more questions are left?

17. I’ve come to realize that my dad. . .Is quite generous

18. I’ve come to realize that when I get on Facebook. . .I need to be careful about what I post, there are too many ppl on it from my work

19. I’ve come to realize that today. . .I enjoyed live streaming from the whitehouse to see the Foo's!

20. I’ve come to realize that tonight. . .I need to go to bed very soon!

21. I’ve come to realize that tomorrow. . .I'll probably take the kiddo's to the pool club!
22. I’ve come to realize that I really want to. . .WIN the lottery

23. I’ve come to realize that the person mostly likely to repost this is. . .What???

24. I’ve come to realize that life. . .is short, it's the small things that matter
.25. I’ve come to realize that this weekend. . .Means the summer is half way over, seems like a week or two ago the kids just got out of school.
26. I’ve realized the best music to listen to when I am upset. . .Is Rock and Roll, there is nothing like getting the Led Out
27. I’ve come to realize that my friends. . .are few but truly special
28. I’ve come to realize that this year. . .Is flying by...
29. I’ve come to realize that me exes. . .?????
30. I’ve come to realize that maybe I should. . .Take a deep breath and think before I speak
31. I’ve come to realize that I love. . .The Foo Fighters
32. I’ve come to realize that I don’t understand. . .Much that is for sure!
33. I’ve come to realize my past. . .Is just that, my past...Live and Learn...and move on!!!
34. I’ve come to realize that parties. . .are sometimes overrated
35. I’ve come to realize that I’m totally terrified. . .of losing love ones, and riding in elevators and heights
36. I’ve come to realize that my life. . .is fun, busy and flying by...Time to go!!!